The First Meet

The Captain announces landing in 10 mins and the heartbeat raised, the moment for which we have waited for so long is just minutes away, just a while and I will see you, the sparkle in the eye and the butterflies in stomach were not allowing me to sit and I knew the situation was same the other side too. The time flashbacked to the day we first spoke till date, there were so many failed planned meetings, the desperation to meet finally made us to see each other today.

We had several long calls and chats to plan each and every moment of this day because we have just a day, the wait was too long that ‘a day’ seems too short, may be we met so late that the entire life is also short and we had just a day. A day which has just started, it was 9.30 a.m and the flight arrived. After unboarding, my eyes searched just the Exit signs, and I rushed towards it, this was the first time we were going to see each other. The excitement was so high that the body felt like floating, eyes were all around in search of him and heart a bit scared. The bundle of feelings were attacking the mind like What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t meet his expectations? What if he finds me stupid? A lot of Whats & Ifs and I reached near the exit door. I stopped myself for a while and called him , I heard a very nervous and desperate voice asking me ‘Arey, finally you called, Kaha ho?’ I replied ‘I am coming where are you?’ . The reply made me smile, he said ‘I am looking at every girl matching your height, ek ko to jakar milne wala tha, jaldi aa jao kahi koi thappad na mar de’ . I smiled and looked out and I could see him in a in Blue jeans and Black t-shirt, the first thought in my mind was ‘Wow, is he my man?’. My eyes couldn’t resist staring him, heart was almost out and smile made me blush. I walked out and he saw me, a smile from both ends while our feet could bring us closer. He came closer and said “Hii”.. He hugged me casually by touching the bag rather me which actually made me smile and then he looked at me for a sec and said by keeping his hand on my shoulder “Yar kamal ki height hai tumhari”, his sentence broke the silence and we both smiled and walked out.

The countdown begins, we were counting the hours as we had just 9 hours to spend, though we had the iternary for the day still we were confused what should be done. Where should we go and What should we do in order to spend the maximum time together? And then as planned we decided to go for a long drive. The journey started, though there was alot going on inside but the words were playing hide and seek and I couldn’t utter a single word and I realised that he talks alot. I was happy with this fact that he talks alot. My heart and brain were still struggling whether to see him or to listen to him as multitasking was not my cup of tea today. We decided to head towards a hill station to fulfill the purpose of long drive so that we can spend some time together rather struck in the city traffic.

The day was hot but was so beautiful, I was still not able to believe that I was with the man of my dreams, I wanted to tell him how much I have waited to see him, to hear him ,to sit next to him. The feelings inside me were growing by each second we were spending together. He started telling me about the city, the roads and the surroundings as we were crossing it and I could only hear his voice and not the words because by then my brain was overtaken by heart. We decided to have breakfast as we had to go out of city and we would not get anything out there so we stopped at MCD. We walked inside, he asked me what would I like to have, the stomach was full of butterflies so there was no space for anything so I choosed fries, same was the situation with him so he took a coffee and a complementary muffin. I grabbed a seat waiting for him,it was a 3 seater table. I sat on the front side expecting him to sit opposite to me. He came and sat next to me instead opposite, since the table was small, the chairs were arranged very close to each other. My heart beat increased when he sat next to me, our legs could actually touch each others. Wow, this feeling is out of the world. I felt so blessed to see him close to me. We sat very close to each other on different chairs, this was the first time I was looking at him this closely. I was blushing may be, and he was very happy. He was looking at me without blinking and then he holded my hand. Wow, that touch still raise my goose bumps. I wanted to get up and hug him, kiss him, sit on his lap but I didn’t let my feelings overflow and remained satisfied by holding hand. He asked me to have a sip from his coffee, I had a sip which left my lisptick mark on the Cup and then he had the entire coffee from that mark side. I could see the love on the other side as well, I was happy from inside that he loves me, I wanted to tell him that I want this mark to be on your body instead of the cup. I had thousands of thoughts inside me and we had just 8 more hours left. We left MCD and I holded him from side having his hand on my shoulder, we both looked each other and walked till car, those 2 mins are the most memorable mins of our life. I felt the emptiness in life is filled with him, I wanted to walk like this for my entire life. I never wanted that walk to get over. I started liking his touch now.

We headed towards the destination, we holded hands and the hands interlocked themselves as they were waiting for each other from centuries. We started talking, we spoke on all nonsense topics, fun , romance and many more. Time was flying and we both were already into skies. We never felt this happiness before. The hands were joined this way that they cannot be separated. He drove the car by one hand as the other was already locked with mine. I had his hand in my hand but my greed was far more than that. I wanted his both hands, his lips, his ears, his cheeks, his hair, his shoulders, his arms, his entire body. I wanted to hold him and wanted him to hold me, I wanted to kiss him, hug him, cuddle him, wanted to make love with him…. I wanted him so desperately but then I controlled and started looking at him and just looked. He could sense the cyclone inside me and may be he has the same inside him. The scenario continued and we reached the destination, parked the car and he stopped me to open the door for the second time,I was wondering why and meanwhile he opened the door for me. I asked him why you are not allowing me to open the door and he said ” there is a static charge in the door, tumhe current lag sakta hai”, I wasn’t convinced but had to agree to what he said. I got down and we walked towards the view.

It was a hill station but a hell hot day, there was no water in the fall, no breathtaking view, We could just see the green mountains. It was a off season for visiting a hill station, but it was one of the the most beautiful trip of my life. The most memorable, the most happening, the most lovable. We looked around and there were couples, friends all around, I felt a bit uncomfortable as people were giving weird looks but we avoided them and then after few mins we felt we are part of the group. We found a place away from the crowd, I was looking at the mountains as this was the place I always wanted to visit and then i realised his eyes on me. We were standing close to each other, the sunlight was hitting our head but the body was shivering out of nervousness. I looked at him and asked what happened? He smiled and said “Finally tum aa hi gayi”. I could understand his feelings as the same was there in my heart too. He looked at me and said “You have beautiful hair”, I smiled. He asked ” Can I touch them” , every beat of my heart was like ” I am all yours baby, you don’t need permission to own me” and then I nodded to his question. He gently touched my hair and moved them back of ear. I felt a cold breeze touching me in that sunlight. He then touched my neck by his finger, slowly parted the hair, Eyes closed I felt the warmth, he came closer, I leaned and he holded my waist and pulled towards him, I holded his t-shirt and he kissed me on neck. I felt like I am on cloud nine, I could feel the cold breeze and the warmth of his arms. I felt the time should stop, I didn’t want this moment to pass. I want him to never stop, keep kissing me ,keep loving me, keep looking at me. I want more and more of him by every passing second. Is this desperation of this many months or our love? Will b always be this crazy or the love will fade away by time? I had this questions in my mind which atlast distracted me and made me upset. I asked him to go from there as it’s too hot. He didn’t want that but he had to listen to me, he never got to know the real reason to move from there. The feeling to loose him or to never get him haunts me today also. We came back in the car and moved towards the city, we had spent around 4 hours till now, the time was flying and our hearts were getting sad. We headed towards city, the drive was around 2 hours to city, we were hungry so we stopped at a place, again this time he didn’t allow me to open the door, the same reason as before.

We went up to the restaurant, ordered some pasta and started talking, we were this time sitting opposite to each other but then the distance was too much, I wanted to tell him to come and sit close to me and the next moment he was. He heard my inner voice, I was so happy having him nearby and with the fact that he have a heart connection. The food was here, we had the food with each other’s hand, the food never seemed that tasty. We walked out after the lunch, we moved towards the city. He again opened the door for me, I was sure its not the static charge and I decided to ask him why he is not allowing me to open the door and hr replied ” I always dreamt of doing all this for my special one, and you are my dream girl. When I am there with you, you have to only touch me and nothing else, I am there for all other things.” Eyes were filled with tears, my every breath said him “I love you more and more baby”.

We headed towards the airport, we had just 2hours now, and we were sad as the time was about to get over now. The traffic was at its peak and the thought of separation was haunting us. There was a silence for few mins and we spoke about few more things before we reach airport. And then it was time to depart. I got down, took my bag, I couldn’t make an eye contact with him,we hugged and I walked in. I didn’t had courage to turn, but I wanted him to hold my hand and push me back, I wanted him to kiss me, and say don’t go. May be he wanted same and not allow me to go but both of us couldn’t speak. The emotions were flowing in the form of tears. It was very hard to move away from the love of our life. But easy or hard we managed and walked, I boarded the flight. He called me, we spoke about the day, this time the desperation, the craziness in the voice was something different. We could feel the need of each other. We were so much in love already and this meeting made our love reach the next level. I could see my world with him. I want him, I need him, I love him. Though we were seperated but we could still feel each other’s presence, he ruled my heart. I couldn’t share this place with anyone else in life and he can’t do that too. His car’s front seat is reserved for me forever and so is his heart. The love birds are on the height in the skies more then the flight. This is just the beginning. This love will show us many more things. I close my eyes and I see him. This life is yours baby, all yours. Either take it, or give it. I found my love of life. I was satisfied. I was happy. I was sad too, I was missing him badly. The bundle of feelings inside and we separated.

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A word with coffee

Today, an early morning for me, I was busy with my work, coffee on table and mind in laptop. Hundreds of thoughts were struggling to distract my mind, my calender was blocked with back to back meetings and i realized again a day without breakfast. A remainder popped up on screen for meeting in next 15 mins, i was really trying hard to finish my task before the meeting thinking about the pending things because of back to back meetings. Suddenly my mobile screen captured my attention, a text message from a known number, i tapped the screen to read the msg, and it says “Can i have a word with you..!!?

It took nano seconds for my mind to go into flashback.. and..

This alarm, how i hate it..!! i snoozed it for next 10 mins and felt happy to grab back my blanket and my phone beeped, A WhatsApp msg “Good Morning Dear, get up else u will be late” . The inner me smiled with a reply msg “Good Morning “.

I started my day, i was busy with stuffs but my heart and mind both at the same time were very happy and still in the morning msg mood. It was just few days before we met and i still wonder how we turned up into such close friends or more than that. In our hectic schdule also we will have long conversations, its now a part of routine. We are aware of each and everything going on in each others life, we console, pamper, scold,care and internally Love each other but the feelings are unexpressed. We never felt sharing that special feeling, moreover we started feeling it.

“Blah Blah Blah” our fav cafe to hang out every evening, on our fav table with fav espresso with ofcourse the most fav person and the time,it flies, all the frustration of the day gets dissolve in that one sip of coffee, and we started talking, teasing, meanwhile flirting and caring too. It was 9pm and i had to go back to pg(paying guests) since 10 was the deadline, so we left the cafe and as he wanted to spend some more time together we started walking, the cafe was 20 mins from my pg, the cold breeze was touching us, we slowed, the feelings inside us was getting stronger with the time we spend together and the beautiful nature and climate makes it more beautiful and delight. Words were not sufficient for the love we both were feeling for each other. We couldn’t speak anything and he holded my hand. That was one of the most precious moment of my life, i felt i was on cloud nine.Silently we continued walking without uttering a single word.It was time to go back to pg as we reached destination. Its too hard to depart even though its just for few hours, we waved each other and went back to our homes. I was deeply into his thoughts, i was feeling very light, very happy, very free.. I realized I was in Love.. and a question popped up in my mind, was he feeling the same?? I smiled and sent him a Good Night msg.

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Its now been a year, Its his Birthday today, i was all set to surprise him, I did all my surpirse plan in the cafe and i called him, after getting 2 unanswered calls, i texted him, “See you at 11”. And here he was, in a black tshirt with blue denim, i always wanted to say this to him that u look Dashing but never did so, probably will never do. He came closer, i moved forward and wished him with a bunch of flowers, i wanted to Hug him, express all my love, but i stopped myself, perhaps he understood or he wanted the same, he holded my hand and pulled me towards him, we hugged. I holded him like never before, like its the last time and tears rolled down my cheeks. We looked at each other, i could see his eyes wet and again we didn’t spoke anything. We spent the whole day together after the celebration, days passes and we had so many beautiful memories to remember.

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I called him, “Its raining heavily here, could you pick me up?” and he replied “Will be there in 20 mins dear” I was waiting for him, and one thought comes in mind every now and then that disturbed me alot nowadays,” if not now, when? “ I wanted to tell him that what i feel for him, also wanted to know his feelings about me. I was lost in my thoughts and i heard somebody Honking, i peeped it was him. I sat on the front seat next to him and we headed off towards the cafe, he was sad, I noticed his disturbance. I aksed twice, he was silent. We reached cafe, on the same table,same coffee, i again asked him, this time by holding his hand, he looked into my eyes, with a tear drop he said “My Mom selected a girl for me, I am getting engaged” I was silent, I didn’t had words to speak, I was shattered. I got up to leave cafe, he tried and stopped me, i turned and replied “leave me alone for a while” I walked to my pg, it was rain or tears only god knows, the sky was crying along. The nature has a beauty, it never leaves you alone, if you are happy, it makes you feel more happier and if sad, it cries with you..!!

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I reached pg, there were 10 missed calls , and so many text msgs. I replied saying “Do you Love me?” and he replied “I love my Mom too..” and that day i heard the sound of heart break, I didn’t understood whether he loved me or it was only one sided. I was depressed, the days were too depressing and the nights were too long, why the hell god created feelings. Why he did that with me? Why he is not there? Why i love him? What Mistake i did? Am i not deserving? and hell lot of questions were running in my mind.I tried to ignore him and I changed my complete routine, i kept myself too busy so that i should not get time to think about self also, but all my failure attempts, none of them worked taking him out of my mind. I kept checking his facebook timeline and other social media to get an update of his engagement but seems he didn’t updated any of them. Everyday his msgs and missed calls remained same and finally a day i made him stop that too.

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It was almost 6 months now and a day, i got to know through a common friend that he didn’t got engaged, the reason was unknown and i ignored. I reacted quite casually as if it doesn’t make difference to me. Those words kept running in my mind for a long time and months passed, after so many months also i couldn’t learn to live without him, i learnt to ignore my feelings, i learnt to keep myself busy, i learnt how to live life alone.. i learnt a lesson.. and it sadly continued..

The present day.., remainder popped up again for “0” mins, it was a final call for meeting, my eyes were still on phone and one more msg “Something about us, A word with coffee..??

and i replied “Catch you in the evening, same place, same time.. !!” ☺️☺️

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